This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Ok, so i just saw my friend shawn-elise, she told me that she is living in oakville again. she came by with some rustys, i hate when i see my old friends scraping the bottom of the barrel for friends, i always wonder what happened between her and i.
we were best friends, inseperatable like bonnie and clyde but way cooler.

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That is a picture of my drunk friend alex, this picture was taken in eastern Italy, she has just returned from a trip to europe, her home land if you may.
she is british and moved to this small town over 3 years ago.
we were close friends for a while, but she got all too cool to talk to me when she got accepted to OCAD.
Her art is on the cool side of lame and she uses a mac computer.
we used to party everyday, get wasted, smoke pot, and do nothing and everything all at once.
i want to start partying again with her sometime, but she is all too cool.

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This is Annie, it is not the most flatering picture of her, dont let the big goofy glasses fool you, her vision is fine.
Annie and i have been friends for just over 2 years, she has always been there for me, even when i am being a big scary jerk.
she has helped me while i puked, which in my mind is one of the nicer things u can do for someone, u dont get much lower then puking.

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I wake up the same way every morning, shaken, scared even, of what i don't know, or remember. It could be from the constant nightmares that plague me in my sleep. I don't remember them though, i think i have learned how to blank out my dreams, since they are always so bad.



I roll off the couch, wander out front in nothing but a pair of boxershorts. Have a cig, smoke a bong load. Then wander back inside, slap my lil bro who is usually playing war craft 3 on the other computer. Sit down on the couch, watch some dawson's creek repeats on TBS.



I get up to use the washroom, return to my seat on the couch, i reluctantly call Raymi to see how her night sleep was, i feel strange not having anyone to sleep with. i love waking up next to someone i love. I think i should get myself a teddy bear to hug at night, when no one is here to keep me company.

The day continues with me babysitting my younger bro, making him lunch, playing games with him on the X-Box, poisoning his mind with my psycho-babble. I think he looks up to me, and i really get flattered by that. It makes me want to be a better person, knowing that i am shaping and molding the mind of a impressionable youth. I want to be a best friend to him. i want him to know that i will always be here for him, no matter what is going on in his life, Angelo will be there to talk and to listen to what ever he might say. Its a shame he cant read this site, i really want him to know all this stuff, its much easier to type then it is to say.

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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

I've spend another night in, what is happening to me? What has happened to the fun loving drunk party machine?



Its just like I woke up one day and I had aged 10 years.
I feel like a bitter old man, mad at the world and everything in it. I cant have any fun because it distracts me from how bitter I am.
I used to not have a care in the world, I felt like I had total control of my life and what I was doing, like nothing could bring me down. Then one day I realized that I was not invincible, I don't remember exactly when it happened, but I do now feel the effect that it is having on my life.
I need to be better in this game, I need to stop with the bad, and fill up on some good for a bit. I am off drugs, and I love my life off them, but sometimes, in the back of my mind, it scratches at me, talking to me, tempting me, but, I fight that feeling. Fight it like it hit my mother. I will not be sucked into that spiral of nothing ever again. I am trying not to drink as much either, I find it now a disgusting habit, makes u stink, puke and cause unnecessary trouble.
Im so confused and stuck in a rut right now, I hope I have hit bottom.
There are very few things that make me happy in this world.
and it seems day by day, there are less and less of these things around to keep the smile on my face.
Only I have control of my life, and I have to learn how to now make the most of what I am feeling right now.
I don't know what I need to do, but I have to do it fast, whenever I think about this my stomach does somersaults, and I get very anxious, but what am I so afraid of, it is just my life, its not someone else's, I have control.

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The USA has handed Iraq back to the people. Unbelievable, it takes that long. 15 months, the states occupied Iraq. Bremmer handed that shit over on yesterday. I hope things all go well there from now on.



All these pictures were taking by Raymi during a night in Toronto, that included, mad pony party, some hole in the wall bar where we lost darts, i blew chunks, Raymi got attacked by a lonely senior citizen ( which i have a video of but don't know how to link it to this site), drank some more, puked some more. Got loads of random photos. Came home and passed the fuck out.





O yah for got about the umbrella, it busted on my knee

I want to see my friend Julie some time the week before i go away, but she is all to busy/married/working to come out and bend her elbow a bit with me.



A list of the things i am afraid of right now:

1. The scorpion like spider/ant thing that attacked me on my front porch.

2. Snakes

3. People who can touch their nose with their tongue.

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Monday, June 28, 2004

The movie last night was good.
It was dull at some points, and i am betting the less intelgent people in the crowd had a hard time following it.
Its a great movie cause it makes you laugh, cry, and learn. Learn that G.W Bush should not have even been elected let alone launch an unnecisary war on Iraq.
i dont even want to get into it, it makes me sick.
Today, i dont know what i am going to do. the weather is semi-shit. want to bbq. steaks, and sausage with the cheese stratigically injected into them.
damn i am hungry, more jiff on toast for me!

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Sunday, June 27, 2004

Had another great convo with carla today, she can always make me smile, no matter what kinda of mood im in.
So i will be seeing 9/11 tonite come hell or high water(what is 3 things u dont want to up in your neck too).
my friend Jordan, who is in the pen right now wants his voice to be heard, so aprox once a week i will post an aud-blog from him, talking about the people thta he is in with, why he is there, how he makes booze in his cell ect. ect.
im also going to start my cab driver blog really soon. if these ideas sound stupid, let me know. cause i am not going to waste time making them, if it is going to suck.

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Saturday, June 26, 2004

Today I thought that i would get creative with an audblog post, some people sing, some people play their answeing machine, me i just do the most fucked up thing i can think of.
An interesting Aud-blog post made from inside a federal pen.

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Mater

By Carla

This is a painting by a very sweet, and gifted Torontonian artist.
Against the wishes of her parents she prusues making almost all forms of art with a strong passion.
She is one of the strongest people that i have ever met, her art is almost as beautiful as her soul.
A gifted writer, photographer, and painter. Go visit her site and see for yourself.

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I really wanted to go shopping today, but i am going to most likely sit around and wait, and wait and wait.
i m really bored, and want to go sailing, but my friends are all in montreal.
totally depressed today, i cant eat but my stomach is killing, cant think but my mind is racing, cant believe but my heart is true.
im so bored and have nothing to write about beside my ever growing depression.
i feel sooo sick to my stomach right now.
i want someone to come and give me a hug and hold me in their arms, i want someone to tell me everything will be alright.
but i have no one. i have nothing.
i want to do backflips off the bridge and land on a boat.
it is waterfront festival here in oakville, what a big gay waste of time.
all it does is hold up trafic, tie up the public transpot system, and make cabs almost unavailable.
Its a lame attempt to bring tourism in to this shitty town.

Today i feel very very nomadic. i want to just pack a bag, and walk, hitchhike, take advantage of the free public transport. i dont ever want to come back here, ever seen anyone who lives here, or even talk to them.
i need to start a new life, to stop all this shit that i am doing now.
in the past 24 hours my eyes have been seriously opened to the world around me, how could i have been so blind for soooo long?

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Saturday.
i plan on going to see michael moores new film today.
i have not read any reviews, so i am going into the film with a virgin bias.
though i have read the book "Dude, where's my country?" which i believe is going to be the exact same as the movie, a direct attack on bush and his republican BS.

For all of my american readers. do what u can to see this movie, dont let the government control u on this issue, dont vote bush this november.
each of you will help save the world.

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Friday, June 25, 2004

My Friend from Montreal, who is fighting the tight grip of right wing government, he is basically canada's answer to Micheal Moore. JamesMartinWindsor Has been shut down. This shows how powerful the USA Government is:

james:
some cock bags shut it down

GSUSKING:
what?

james:
i think i got the yanks on my ass now

GSUSKING:
why?

james:
its fucked up

GSUSKING:
who took it down?

james:
no fucking idea
but i cant get it back up

GSUSKING:
really? that is fucked

james:
its fucknig strange
all my other sites on the same server work
just not that one

GSUSKING:
did u talk to websilk?

james:
my url is fuckedddd
ya i did
they have no clue whats going on

GSUSKING:
really?

james:
strange shit my friend

GSUSKING:
dude the yanks are on to u buddy

james:
i think so
i gotta start watching my back

GSUSKING:
yes i sure did.. when did ur site go down?
what other sites do u have on ur server?

james:
it went down as soon as i uploaded a copy of michael moores book and i put up a long rant about conservatives and the souless, decay of morality and ethics in our curent society

james:
ive got Grapefruit Records
and Montreal Pubcrawl

GSUSKING:
fuckers
im putting this convo on my site

james:
indeed.
hahah
i hate when people do that
its always boring

GSUSKING:
this one isnt that boring

james:
i find most generally are

GSUSKING:
yes, i use them only to illustrate an abstract point

james:
raymi started doing it, i commented on the shittynes of it, she seemed offended

GSUSKING:
dont worry she isnt mad

james:
oh i know, shes crazy.

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Thursday, June 24, 2004

that is my friend mr biddell.
he has a look that can stop any chick in their tracks, strip his clothes off and fuck him right there in the porto-potty at the rave.
what a guy, hes the man.

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This is Stuffenbap. He is Gsusking's employe of the month.
He is going to Mtl for mr. ballers wedding this weekend. what a lucky fuck, all my friends are going to be gone for this weekend.
this sucks. weddings suck anyway, free booze and a bunch of old drunk yuppies in suits.
i dont need that..
good luck Mr marler.

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This evening at 10pm Ali G comes to canadian tv.
i have long awaited this show on canadian air waves. Its a british hit, about this wannabe rapper/jungle mc/garage mc who interviews the top of the top of american celebs, congress, and stars.
his satire keeps me in stiches.
at one point the only way u could watch his show would be to pirate it off the net, now i can watch it on my tv, with propper quality, and no adware programs preying on my virgin laptop.
Im thinking about getting a new phone and throwing mine in the lake.
i finnally got the thing working again. and then it just stoped last night.
not having a phone really fucks this guy over.
me with out my phone is like the pope without his hat. A site most people rarely see.
i want to be a film maker.
no not porno.
i want to make cool movies like Pi. and The Red violin.
keep your eyes open for me.
ill be on the top one day.
ONEDAY

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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

That is my buddy rumi, he is sweet ass, brings his hookah and shisha to my house and we have a nice relaxing session in the back yard. Notice the white trash esque motor oil bottles on the window ledge.



That is my brother Joe and I. dont be fooled by the peaceful demeanor, he is a snapper, just like me. I think this is the only picture i have of me and him... sad but true.

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So i got to the dentist yesterday and realized that i forgot my wallet.
i sit in the chair, and the chick is like "ok we are going to take some X-rays"
she plops this huge lead apron on me to "protect" my swimmers.
what i dont get is, they are pointing this thing directly at my head, and the dental assistant chick, runs off outta the room into some lead walled bunker.
i ask her when she returns, "how come u can point this thing at my head? but when u are about to take the X-ray why do u run into your bunker"
"umm... cause its not safe" she replies.
THE THING IS POINTED AT MY BRAIN AND ITS NOT SAFE?
so this put me in a bad mood. they didnt even ask if i wanted an x-ray, they cost alot of money that i didnt have on me.
"how much do these cost?" i ask her.
"um like 40 bucks each" she responds.
who do they think they are charging me for something that i didnt even ask for, and that is going to harm me, fucking rip off artists.
i dont have any dental coverage, which sucks. cause they wanted to do more shit to my, but i was like, "listen up, i dont have the money for all the B.S" got up from the chair and walked to the front desk, with my purple tooth brush, why do they always give me a purple tooth brush, makes me sooo bitter, everytime purple. am I a 8 year old girl, cause i havent checked in the miror lately.
I HATE THE DENTIST>

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Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Today i have to goto the dentist. i hate the dentist.
i once read somewhere that dentists kill themselves the most outta any proffesion.
i guess that is cause everyone hates the dentist, and hates going to the dentist.
"hold still while I scrape the shit outta ur gums with this knife like object"
and the ask u all these stupid questions when they have both hands in your mouth.
like honestly how do u expect me to respond with out biting off your fingers.
i hate the taste latex in my mouth.
good thing i didnt take the route of "gay prostitute".

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Monday, June 21, 2004

And also today i bought a green kick ass suit.
i scored it for really really cheep.
and some new board shorts for panama.
i am now going alone.

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so there has been some drama in my comments today.
hmm i cant say that i am not flattered.
but seriously. feel free to say anything you want.
they are comments. Your comments for My site.
not Raymi's site.
dont let her bully you. say what u feel.
i dont bully in her comments.
she can say what she wants here too.
In fact, she is a writer on this site, and also started it for me.
she does deserve respect since she is fairly kind to everyone.
but seriously. it is just what u guys think of me.
not a big deal right?

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Today i smoked some shisha with my friend rumi,
he has been in europe for almost a year,
he went to italy. to do school. finished his highschool with a 90% average, he is a cool dude.

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Sunday, June 20, 2004

This is my fave picture of the day.
its like The Simple Life Raymi style.

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So today is fathers day.
my father and i dont get along. I think it is because we are both so similar, i didnt get him a card. but he came by my house this morning at 8
i gave him a big hug and wished him a happy fathers day. I told him i was sorry for being such a shit son.
he just brushed me off.
it makes me really sad that i never had a good relationship with my father.
the only time i ever see him is when he has come over to mine to give me shit for something i did, or didnt do.
He left my mom 6 months ago, i was living in london at the time.
i had to move home to help my mother with the kids.
i guess he is just going through a mid-life crisis.
he has bought a cadilac and is living in some basment.
i never see him.
things used to be so much better.
but now they are not

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had a great evening tonite.
went for a nice dinner at Wolfgang Puck.
then went out on my friends trimaran. i love sailing.
i was born to do it. everyone on the boat just sits there and gets completely wasted, as i sail us to safety. toronto at night on the water is a sight that everyone should see. it was clear as crystal tonite, u could see all the stars.
passing party boats on the water is good for a laugh, Pakistani wedding parties.
the docks was full of people partying to euro trash music.
steve can make me laugh no matter what type of mood i am in.
"you lil bitch, come here and i fuck u with my chubby"

man what a tard bag.

blah blah blah. im not to creative this weekend. so sue me.

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Saturday, June 19, 2004

watching the funniest southpark right now.
its like a scene from the god father, when they take the "rat" brother out into the boat and kill him
im jonesing to watch godfather right now.
f'in sakes. im going to buy it tomorow.
im going to bed now. gnite world.

thanks for the link Trueboy *blush*

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Friday, June 18, 2004

this is yet another wasted shot of me. i failed to mention b4 that i was in the back of a H2 driving to this bar on last friday.
i hope the next 2 weeks pass as fast as the previous 2 had.
its friday today. i hate fridays.
my friend russian anna is comming out with raymi and i.
uggnnn this should be an interesting evening. fridays i am always soo fucking busy it drives me mental. i dont know how i am going to go 2 more weeks
i wish my vacation started now.
i am going to school in september. to become a chef. i cant wait, i have always loved cooking. it is also the only job i have ever had. all i know is kitchen work.
i am really excited for that too.
I needed college like no other.
i finnally have enuff money to go.
i would pay for raymi to goto, if she would.

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THIS CONVERSATION HAS BEEN EDITED FOR CONTENT

HJM says:
yo

How bout you me and a pair of says:
yo brother

HJM says:
what's happenin

How bout you me and a pair of says:
nothin much man how are u doin buddy

HJM says:
I'm just at work...

HJM says:
Yo, I'm interviewing the Beastie Boys this Sunday...

How bout you me and a pair of says:
what

HJM says:
I just had to tell someone...

How bout you me and a pair of says:
how did u land that?
dude that is insane
what are u going to ask them?

HJM says:
A guy I work with works for the U of T newspaper...and he asked me for information on them for an article he was writing, and now I'm just going to write it - and go to the interview myself...

HJM says:
I already have questions ready...

How bout you me and a pair of says:
nice man. that is insane, tell them i love their shit.

HJM says:
I will...

HJM says:
I'll be giving them props from alot of people...

How bout you me and a pair of says:
totally

How bout you me and a pair of says:
what is your fave question? are u going to create controversy?

HJM says:
(to the b.b)what are you up to this weekend?

How bout you me and a pair of says:
thats a good question.

HJM says:
I don't think I'll be bringing up anything too too touchy...

HJM says:
I'll be asking about their opinion on Bush...that's for damn sure...

How bout you me and a pair of says:
nice
can u make a transcript of it for my website?

HJM says:
Yo, I'm recording the whole interview - you can have the sound files for your website if you want...

How bout you me and a pair of says:
ya i want

HJM says:
yo, i've gotta go to a meeting...

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Fuck you fuck you fuck you. you're cool.

ok where to start... um
this one time i drank a shit load of tequila at my friend chemos house, i was fucking wasted falling down barely able to walk. So we were sitting on his front porch talking, throwing stuff at cars, you know the regular 14 yearold shit. All of a sudden a girl appears outta nowhere. i ask her to walk to pizza pizza with me. i had never met her b4 but we walked and talked and got to know eachother a long the way there. We ate our pizza and left.
we began the hike back to chemos house, walking, falling laughing.
i need a smoke really bad, so i walked up to a cabbie and asked him for one.
"fuck off u fucking punk" was his response to my request.
i took it in stride and walked into the bar to grab a pack. When i came out the girl i was with(whose name i don't remember) was being yelled at by the drunk cab driver.
i came up from behind grabbed the guy and popped him in the jaw...
i realized my mistake now... The dude was huge, i took a few steps back, he looked like a grizzly bear.
he ran at me with his arms in the air. i took another step back, he threw a punch i ducked and countered, smacking him in the eye.
ran back a few more feet as he got his footing again.
he ran at me in the same fashion as b4 i thought to myself "this is going to be 2 easy"
he swung and missed again, and i got him in the other guy..
by this time i have a huge smile on my face, and the bear looked like he was going to kill me.
this time he ran at me with fire in his eyes, ill admit that i was a bit frightened, cause i knew if he connected with a haymaker, i would be feeling some pain.
this time he swung and connected, it just barely grazed my cheek, at the same time i hit him with the hardest left hook i have ever hit anyone with. "I'd better finish him off this time" i thought to myself. So i followed with a right uppercut. He went down hard.
"DON'T U EVER FUCK WITH ME U PIECE OF SHIT" i yelled to him . i looked down at my hand and realized that his tooth was stuck in my finger. i pulled it out and threw it at him.
"o here is your tooth back fuck face"
i still have the big ass tooth scar in my finger.
the girl was a bit shocked that i kicked such a big dudes ass.
i told her it was my boxing training that really helped me.
it has been almost 8 years since that night.
we walked back to chemo's and i never saw that girl again.
this story used to make me feel like i was a super hero.
now i just feel like a bullie

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Thursday, June 17, 2004

some times i think i might have an anger management problem.



today i yelled at someone like i have never yelled before.
she deserved it.
i dont take shit from anyone and most people know that.
esspically direct threats on my home and the emotional well being of my family.
if u think i am going to take this lying down, you are sadly mistaken.
i have given everyone fair warning about fucking with me.
now i am bitter gsusking.
like a cold winter storm.
i just ate 4 burgers. nothing can stand in my way. except the huge stomach cramps that i can feel comming on.
i could not eat all day.
i had a shitty day cause of the rain. and she must have smelt it on me. cause i sure got torn into.
fucking hell
ill post something worth reading later.

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Yo i am listening to the craziest drum and bass in the world right now.
i just grabbed the 2004 promo for all the new Bad Company tracks.
im rocking in my socks let me tell u. holy shit balls batman.
jungle music does something crazy to my insides. all up in my gutty wuts.
i dont know how to explain it. but any other drum and bass head that is reading this knows what i am talking about.
soon as i hear it my head starts bopping around. then my knees and feet start moving. then my arms start going, making it ihard to type.
masta just called me and asked if i had a mop. i said i sure do, but it will cost ya. 100 blow jobs, he said i cant do that . but i do have a joint for u.
i was like "alright"



but now i have been suckered into helping him clean his house.

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BEST PICKUP LINE EVER

"Hi, I make more money than you can spend."

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Its raining so hard today.. it woke me out of my deep sleep.. i was dreaming, a good dream, but i woke up so quickly that i cant even remember what happened. i know it was good though.
my knee always hurts when it rains, i wish i had never hurt my knee...
when i did it 2 summers ago, i was stuck with a brace that went from my ankle to my groin, i had to wear it all summer, and was one crutches the whole time damn summer. Went to the beach a few times and got sun stroke because i couldn't even drag myself into the shade, if u didn't know already, walking on crutches in sand is nearly impossible.
i want to buy a scanner, i have so many photos that are so worthy of this site.
i am praying (yes praying Amy, and Jules) that nothing goes wrong to me before i goto Panama.
the trip is non-refundable, and i know with my luck that something will happen that will drastically change the outcome of this trip.
so i am going to hermitize myself for 2 weeks until i live.
my mom is going to Antigua the same day that i leave, meaning my bro Joe has the whole house to himself for the first time.
i want my mom to come and see me in Panama while she is in West Indies.
call me a mommas boy, but when i am away from her, i miss her dearly.
we may fight all the time, and argue and yell. but all of that stems from some sort of strange love that we have for eachother. i get along with her the best outta everyone in my family.
she fought for me when they tried to lock me up, she paid my over due cell phone bills when i was dead broke. she gave me food and money when i was starving to death in london.
i have never met anyone as special as her. and im really glad that she is my mom.
(insert dramatic tear drop here)

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Ali G is finnally comming to canadian tv.
wikid wikid. big up the man like ali g

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Ya ok. i know this looks stupid. but i had to put it up.
if someone would be so helpfull to send me photoshop. your help would be greatly appriciated.
thanks.

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PANAMA WHAT. this is going to be sick i have needed a vacation for way too long. im starting to feel beter and i have not even left yet...
at this point i would like to make a public apology to the church girls that i insulted.
i am sorry that I offended you and your lord.

Dear God,
if u want me to stop being a dick to people show me no sign.
ok God i got u loud and clear. i will not be a dick any more.



Dont get me wrong i went to catholic school for all my life. went to church every saturday, was baptised, recieved communion, reconciled,and was confirmed. everything. i even thought about becoming a preist at one point in my life... i have read the whole bible. i have just lost my faith for my own personal reasons.

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Tuesday, June 15, 2004

This is my fave picture that i took with my sidekick. i was trying to get pics of some ugly carnie guys . but the keep eluding me.. i chased them around this strange parkinglot fair. it felt like i was in a bad goose bumbs novel. so i got scared and left. the end

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CLICK PIC FOR AUDIO POST

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i feel like shit and need a cig. fuck what a uneventful night. a night filled with such potential turned to shit.
i had a martini. that is just about the only thing that went right for me.
its tuesday. the days/weeks/months just seem to flying by. i am struggling to keep my head above the water, almost drowning in my self made proverbial ocean.
i m totally sick in the head. and need to get outta ontario.
i want tropic's, desserts, marshlands, cold icey drinks, long white sand beaches, with crystal clear water.
am i asking to much?

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Monday, June 14, 2004

this is me on the subway. totally shitfaced in toronto. i was subwasted.
i yellewed at a bunch of kids at one stop cause they were all loud as shit and pissing me off. man that was a fucked up day. no more day drinking for me. i am making a bad habit out of it.
i played soccer yesterday, and realised that i am grossly outta shape, i was huffin and puffin like the big bad wolf.
im starting to run again today, to try to get myself back into shape. im not fat at all, there is no fat on my bod. i just smoke to much and am so fucking lazy. i need to be in better physical shape. eat better, drink less, smoke more....wait, smoke less.
and all that bs that the doctors tell u that is good for u.
ok well im off to mcdonalds for a double big mac. and a carton of smokes.
:P

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The craziest lightning storm is going on right in front of me and it is insane.
I have kinda decided too go to Cali. most likely on this Wednesday. i would be going to see my friend Oliver for a few days chill in new port beach, and see what the night life has to offer.
i need a vacation, i haven't been away in 3 years. And i am starting to get cabin fever. But just for my city, province, country.



i just need to get on a jet and go, even though today i was thinking about it, and was getting paranoid of fucking al queda or someshit. i could take there ass down, but i just wouldnt want the hassle you know?
then i thought that i could become a flight attendant so that i could get free flights, i would kill for that job, free flights that would be kick ass, i could take special army training and become like a super hero flight attendant. i would have to brush up on my french speaking, seeing that u need to know at least 2 languages for them to even look at u as worth hiring.

im looking for a picture but i really cant find any so i am going to put this up



i am going to start a cab driver confessional site, interview them and such. Try to get their life story basically. im doing this since i take so many fucking cabs that i think i should keep a log of just that. meh. i am fucking strange one.

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Sunday, June 13, 2004

let me tell u that was one interesting night.
i love when people get wasted and make out.
it is definatly something that deserves to get published.

or when the do other stupid things i love, they get published.





This Picture is soooo oakville.


the town that i live in has some stupid by-law stating that bilboards are illegal.
i guess it keeps the city beautiful.. i really would not mind a big bilboard of my face saying "dont forget to bring a towel" or something along those lines.

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Uncomfortable.
i hate running into ex girlfriends at parties.
it can make or break your night.
its either u get along or hate each other. There is really no happy medium
so i ran into my ex gf last night. It was really strange because we haven't seen each other in years. She said i looked good and we were talking and getting along.
then me being a drunk idiot said something i should not have said an sent her on a hater war path. sorry lyndsay, im a total dufus. This put me in a bad mood.
my friend sent me to get everyone outta his front yard so the cops didn't come.
i walk to the front tell about 16 kids to get into the back yard. None of them paid any attention. So i said again.. But this time pointed at one kid at random and said "if u fucks don't get into the backyard soon, i am going to kick this dudes ass"
the only response was.
"you aint gonna do shit. We can be out here if we want"
at this point i had a serious stomach full of liquid currage. i walked up to the dude who said it and asked him to look me in the eyes.
"go in the back yard. and don't even look at me for the rest of the night"
the kids still would not move. And the lippy kid was still talking shit.
so i threw a fake head butt at him, and ill give him this he didn't even flinch.
"look tough guy. One more comment, and you will go home tonight and your mom wont recognize you" i believe that is fair warning.
"you wont do sh--...."
before he could even finish his sentence i had already laid him out with a serious head butt. At this point the 16 kids out front left the party, and had pretty much learned their lesson.

at this point my friend Sal pulled up, i told him it was time for a drive, we cruised around doing nothing, then came back to the party, what a good party it was. So wasted so many old friends. It feels good to have been genuinely missed by all those people. It makes me wonder why we even stopped talking in the first place.
o well today is Sunday. And i am going to a bar to watch the soccer game.

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Saturday, June 12, 2004

The sun is roasting me. Drove all the way 2 hamertown to check some huge home audio sale. Didn't buy anything. Such a waste of time. Crusin through oakville with wally and masta. I swear those 2 guys have 24 hour hard ons, always looking for women.
I am seriously thinking bout jumping the bridge.
I think we are going out in wallys viper and ferrari he has a collection of real cars like kids have a collection of toys. He is a really good driver and I love crusing with him. In fact I choose to chill wit him and matt instead of going out for a sail. I fucking love sailing the wind is really fucking strong today.
I'm seriously stuck for something 2 do tonite. I m always running around from here to there. And can never make any solid plans. My friend is having a party tonite, also is a girls bday where I have to make an appearance. Then hopefully 2 dilinja I really want to see him 2nite.

posted from my sidekick.
torontojungle

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so friday friday friday.
where do i begin with this one.
as ussual friday was extreemly busy and stresful for me.
it was unreal. so unreal.
we started walking to jaime's house, when i relized that we forgot the
vodka. so i sat under the tree while raymi went home to get it.
im not really lazy. just have a bum knee and cant walk long distances.
we continued to jame's and began to drink, got a ride from a lil drunk kid
to
the party of all blondes, and one beautiful brunette.
we continued to drink and drink and drink.
hopped in to a H2 hummer and went to the bar.
the good thing about that place is that i dont have to wait in line to get
in.

but once i am in i have to wait a fucking hour for a martini.
fucking guys.
raymi was toasted nicely, and was kissing girls for fun.
(pic up soon)
She decided that she was too twisted, and that we had to leave.
so my boy G-bo hooked a ride. i told him that i would be heading over to the
party he was going to after raymi felt better. she said she needed 20 mins.
we went to hers chilled and looked at millions of pictures of trains and
cars
and two dudes having an arguement
"what are they saying to another?"
"dude i dont know, they are arguing"
that was a good laugh.
so then the brit calls me and says he has a present for me.
i agree to meet him, even thought it was frezzing and i only had a t-shirt
on.
we went to my house I ran in quick but forgot a sweater. i blew it.
we went to the party where G-bo was.
man that was a long 20 mins.
everyone there was on E and making me feel uncomfortable. so i headed for
the door.
2001 space. is a fuvcked up movie. have a good one.

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Friday, June 11, 2004

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Well last night was a total gong show. Passed out cold. Drunk. And fully clothed.
the last thing i remember is watching south park.



i drank a lot of te-kill-ya and far to much draft beer.
ate this food. That was insanely big it was like a dinosaur bone. All my friends enjoyed the feast. i was gonna puke cause i m not a big fan of red meat on a bone.
so chemo had a blast last night.





"as of right now my throat does not exist anymore bring on the booze"
Chemo



a got to party with all the people i used to hang out with everyday in highschool. Its fucked how much things change in just a couple years, people working white collar, graduating from university.



it almost makes me sad, sad for myself. i should be in their positions. i should be a lawyer, or an engineer; i should be raking in legitimate income. i know if i went to university i would get all fucked and wasted all the time, spend all my money, never study. And probably have a mean case of some std.
well not the std thing, im far to innocent for that.

I'm on a mission to make money and find some pot.
a mission that i hope is successful
my Friday nights as of late have been sucking ass.
i am going to finally get my cell phone repaired. It has been down for over a month now.
i am such a lazy pothead stoner, is it really that hard to goto the mall and demand a new cellie? No. But when u add weed its like a whole next thing.



i dont have any big plans for tonight and i am dissapointed in myself. tomorow will be fun haus. i have never been but it seems like tomorow is the night to go, since the bad man Dilinja is there. One of my top 3 fave djs. he better rock my socks tomorow.

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"I am a pathalogical liar, and can not be trusted. So all of this can be as fake as it is real."
GSUSKING

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