This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

Monday, June 07, 2004

so today is going to be a really good day. or at least i think it might be. i plan on tanning and having a bbq today in my back yard. i want a veal sandwich from california sandwiches.
my room is overly clean. it looks like a rearranged. but really it is just cleaned.
so i watched Wonderland and Monster last night.
Wonderland was a kick ass movie about this base head, porn star who will do anything for money/blow. its sad to see people like that. reminds me of my wasted youth. spending all my time thinking about blow. or where i was going to get some blow. or when i was going to do some blow.
it was a strange period in my life that i dont really remember. i dont know if its cause i fucked my memory or if i just blanked the whole thing out.
Monster really was not as disturbing as i thought. i was introduced to prostution at a fairly early age. learned how the girls worked and all that jazz. it is basically there own choice to do what they do. by 15 years old my best friend was a hooker, i gave her a knife and told her to use it if she had to. introduced her to her future pimp, i have never forgiven myself for that one, her life is fucked now and she has a kid, and a coke dealer bf who is always in jail. i cant help but feel somewhat responsible, watching Monster last night really reminded me of her, and almost made me cry.
she then went on to work at the strip club with me as a coked out shooter girl.

killed softly at 6/07/2004 12:02:00 PM

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.