This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

this is angelica, she felt left out cause i have not put a pic of her up yet, she is the beauty on the left.
gsusking

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January 2nd 2004

So I had a hot date tonite, I went to milestones and ordered a few martini's and some food, all seemed to be going well. I ordered a glass of (wine wolf blass yellow label) my fave wine. Me being Italian and talking with my hands, accidentally knock over the wine glass, without even taking a sip from it. Granted I was wasted, I ask the bartender "hey boss, can I get a towel or a napkin to wipe this stuff up with?" He turns his back and ignores me..
"HEY! Boss, can I get a towel for this mess?" I ask annoyed with his ignorance.
he turns his back again rolling his eye, "suck it up with this" he says rudely as he throws a straw into the pile of wine on the bar, covering my new white shirt in a splatter of red wine.
"What the fuck?" I yell at the jack ass. "what are you thinking dude? You think I am going to pay my bill after you did this shit? What kind of customer service is this"
"fuck you" punk he responds "wanna take this outside"
the obviously coked up mad at the world bartender has no class and wants to fight me.
So I start flipping. His friends are at the bar, they stand up and get in my face. This is where I lost my temper, and for those of you who know me, when I lose my temper stay the fuck outta my way. I push one dude back into his stool saying " you better just stay here with your girlfriend. You love her right? Well don't make her goto your funeral" He didn't say ne thing he just sat down.
With fire in my eyes, I start yelling at the fucking bartender. and run outside. Leaving my cell phone on the bar like and idiot. The puss never came out to feel my rath, so I went back inside to grab my cell phone, of course its gone.
At this point my date had enuff, and began walking to the door. I payed my bill and left a 20$ tip and vowed never to return to that restaurant.
I took a cab to a local bar, covered in red wine, and with egg on my face for fucking up that date.
I don't get three steps into the bar, when I see the love of my life standing there all alone, bearing a beautiful hello kitty shirt, and the bluntest bangs I have ever seen. Having a fair amount of liquid courage running through my veins, I approach her, saying "hello, my name is Angelo. Could I interest you in a drink?"
"sure, but only if you buy one for my friend too" she replays in a shy way.
At this point my heart was racing, I forgot about my earlier date, the altercation with the bartender, and the mass amount of red wine on my shirt.
I buy the 2 ladies drinks, and we finish them, I pull a bag of coke outta my pocket and say " you girls like to party? wanna come back to my buddies house with me?"
"sure" the beauty replies
We take a cab back to my boy Mr.Biddells mansion, where there is a party initial. I would have done anything to impress her, so I took her around the house quickly showing her around.
We then all went to another party down the street.
The 3 of us, that was me, my love, and her friend walked in a motley crew, all wasted. I basically had to carry her friend to the other party. We chilled around there for a bit, messed around with the computer. Then I came up with the bright idea "hey I gotta joint at my house wanna go smoke it"
she came with me because of course, who could turn down a joint?
We left her friend at the party with my friends, which was what I have come to realize as a mistake.
we went to my house smoked a joint, then went back to the party. The shit hit the fan, at this point I believe it was close to 6 am, the sun was rising when her and her friend went home. I never thought I was going to talk to her again.
but I did.
yay me.

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Monday, August 30, 2004

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Last week some one called me "metro-sexual". I don't really know what the meaning to that is. Was it an insult? Or a term of endearment. im pretty sure it was an insult cause he laughed afterwards.
Then this crazy hipster spat of my friend timmah. I was like. "hey you fucking dude. Why don't you go shave that euro hair cut off your ugly mug"
then he got all lipy. So I socked him right in the temple. I fucking hate loser hipsters. They all think the are so emo, and original. But they all wear the same clothes,have the same haircut, and wear the same shoes. The girl I was with almost kicked the shit outta this hipster chick. It was a good thing that my brother from another mother/cabdriver, had pulled up, I have a feeling that if he didn't, she would have ripped that chick limb from limb. fucking mouthy drunk hipsters better stay the fuck outta my bar, or I will be seriously pissed.. Why would they be in a sports bar anyway? Don't that have some emo bar in a basemet with like candles and whatever else hipsters like?
gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ill slap every hipster dude who gets in my way. I love hipster women, but hate the hipster men, I don't know if this stems from jealousy, or just a hate for people who think they are cooler then they actually are.

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Sunday, August 29, 2004

Well an entertaining end to an interesting weekend.
it went by all to quick, it passed me in a blur of good times.

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Saturday, August 28, 2004

This is a picture of the bar i didnt drink at.
gsusking

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Friday, August 27, 2004

This weekend is all about hotel jumping.. I was suppost to goto this
bday party. But I am broker then a joke and cannot even afford the
train into down town. I wonder if I will ever make it to the ex. Bah.

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Wednesday, August 25, 2004

I am on absolutly no sleep, and i havent even had a nap yet, or eaten for that matter. Usually when i am hung over i like to eat. But today i just cant do it. I dont know if it stems from laziness, or from just not wanting to get up from the couch. Are those two the same?
i want a blue cig, people would look at me and be like, "woah where did u get that?"
"I made it is photoshop" i would tell them.
Then i would definatly be the coolest kid on the block. cockblock. sunblock. building block. any block.
I want to goto the EX. but no one will come with me. i need to go and chill with the horses, and eat cotton candy, and win all the games. cause i used to work there, and know all the secret carnie tricks. Ill take all their stuffed toys. then sell em for a profit, like those kids at Wonderland.

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Holy fuck what mess have I gotten myself into. Sometimes I wonder how
can I be so fucking dumb. Sittin here smoking my ciggarette in
solituude is the only time I can collect my thoughts. I don't know if
this will ever get published. But I am fucking scared. Right now I am
going 2 fucking shoot myself. Fuck this shit I'm going home.

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Tuesday, August 24, 2004

So far tody I have been in oakville, then to hamilton, then to
st.catherines, then back to hamilton, then too london. If I'm never in
a car again it will be 2 soon. It reminds me of a year ago when I used
to drive to markam to grab 1000 pills everyday. I was so stupid and
such I high roller back then. Its strange how much you can mature in a
year. Fuck its strange how much I can mature in a month. I have not
been on a fun road trip like tonites in a while. I m heading back home
to grab a drink. Today would have been my 3rd day without a drink. I'm
far to messed up right now not to have one. I feel like I am on 100
hits of speed. The lights on the highway leave trails on my retina.
I'm fucking tripping out right now. Mangina forever.

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Monday, August 23, 2004

right now i am happier then two guys holding hands, sporting manginas.
I want to edit the fuck outta this photo, but i dont think i could make it much better.
I was going to goto sharkeys tonite, then i was like fuck that, im flat broke.
Maybe if i had a mangina people would buy me beer.
but then i think, i dont wanna drink any more, i want to give my stomach/ulcer a break.
i have an ingrown hair, and i want to destroy it, i want to pic it out and light it on fire and piss on the ashes.
Some one called my house from burger king today, it seems that a girl left her purse there, and they were all like "um is this angel?"
"ya whats up?"
"well it seems that ******* has left her purse here, i went through her phone book and looked u up, do you have any way of getting a hold of her?"
"no dude i dont" i respond.
"ok well if u see her tell her, that the purse is in the safe here at burgerking in orangeville"
"cool do i get a free burger for this?" i beg.
"no"
"fine bye"
"good bye"

stupid burger king.


gsusking

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i just got Photo Shop CS. Its like photoshop 8 or somthing i think. I dont know how to use the thing, it looks like it could be a lot of fun, and i can like do animatited gifs on it.. but i have no fucking clue how to do it. i can barely open it with out going mental from all the buttons. this sucks.

i hope no cops search this

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Sunday, August 22, 2004

I have never rode a horse before, but right now there is nothing i want to do more. I just want to ride away into the shadow of the night. people say i am a "fly-by-night" person. a "fly-by-nighter", if you may.( Something of a shaky or impermanent nature.), i want to "ride-by-nite". A had taken a liking to horses when one of my gfs in highschool was a rider. When we went the the CNE. we spent half the day with the horses, playing with them, feeding them, tickling their lips. We even went to this serious horse show, it was glorious. I was always a bit timmid around them since they are a mighty animal, that could snuff out my life, like it was a candle on a birthday cake. So i never had the balls to ride one. but right now, i wanna be a cowboy.
i wont wear the chaps, but i think i would look good in a 10 gallon hat. some tight blue levi's and a white t-shirt.
I dont really know how to ride a horse, but really how hard could it be, the horse does all the work anyway, just just sit on his back while he runs.
there is a horse near my house, i know i could steal it from the def old man that owns it, i would bring it back, but after i rode around on it for a few hours.
zing.

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this is an aud of my crazy nympho friend timmah

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Saturday, August 21, 2004

My Drunken thoughts of last night in semi-point form.



The bass in here is so strong that my full beer just jumped off the table into my lap.



The 2 black chick emcee's were yelling and were really large.
This is an all ages event with a 19+ area. Some times I rub my nose and people look at me and I think, they think I am a coke/meth head.



The girl in the "boy beater" shirt is my new love.
Maybe.



I want you all to know that navigator I s a fucking snob suit wearing champagne drinking, D&g sun glass wearing bitch.

Ramada inn don valley 217



Navigator an I had a talk about this compared to syrous 7 year. Here tonite 300 people, that night over 5 years ago there were over 10000. He told me that " the biggest parties he has ever seen were in Toronto.'.



My street cred. inside the jungle scene here in Toronto has never diminished.. I've been here for 10 years. And I am a lifer.



And of course the boy beater hates me. I don't know what it takes.



And the bouncer stole my beer.
So then I stole some vodka from da bar. Eat it dick.



And this stinky bitch covered me in water..



All and all it was a "liquid" night.

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Friday, August 20, 2004

i have a fever, and i am broke. but Demolition man, navigator, and million dan are in town tonite, and i really cant miss this. I am going to have to sell my body on the street to pay this months cell phone bill.
fuck things used to be so easy for me. i could get whatever i wanted whenever i wanted it. I am spoiled beyond belief, my head is pounding, and i havent eaten today. I dont think i even have the strength to lift a beer to my mouth.
My mood might be spoiled since i am sober, sick, and broke.
but i refuse to miss good music.
im going to have a shower, and get my ass ready to get live.
fucking right brova.
gsusking

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You know which wines go best with which foods, and
you can make New York City's finest sommalier
feel like a kid at a keg party. You wanna take
that Emeril guy and beat him with a stick, but
really - you've got more class than that.
What people love: You know the best restaurants and
what their specialties are.
What people hate: Every waiter in town wants to
mangle your pretentious ass.


What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Well last night at primetime fucking rocked. I got really really drunk, spend loads of money and everyone and there mother was there.
fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on you.

My stomach/ulcer is killing me today. I think i am going to the doctor. Cause serioulsy i hate bleeding my own blood.
My throat is sore, and my lips are raw.
Was up till 5 am. drank to much, goddamn mr.floppy. WHY DOES THAT HAPPEN?

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Thursday, August 19, 2004

I have fucking cracked. I dont know how long i lasted, but i had a smoke. Tomorow i go and see a doctor get some zyban and beat this shit.

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As of one hour ago I have decided to quit smoking. So for the next 2 weeks or so I am going to be a bitter bitch. I am afraid of what I might become, because I am so addicted to nicotine.
I might have to handcuff myself to my bed like a heroin addict, so I have no way of even seeing those death sticks for the next week or so.
I have never really seriously tried to quit. I have talked about it forever, and I have decided that its time for Less talk More quitting smoking.
IM going to get a crate of tooth picks to chew on, and tones of lollys to suck on(fire at will). I also wont get that nicotine gum, or the fucking patch, cause, seriously, so u quit smoking, you still are dependent on nicotine. Why do I spend money, on something that is going to kill me in the long run? That costs me more then $5000/annum? I say fuck that shit. Everyone should quit. All smoking does is cost our health care system so much money.
Its going to be really hard for me to do concidering everyone i know smokes, all my friends, my moms. Everyone.
i really want one right now. really bad.

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A list of everything i have consummed since monday:

3 slices of pizza
1 big crunch combo
4 chicken wings
1 2L of coke
25 pints.

thats all.

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If there is one movie that i totally relate with, it would have to be: "after hours"
Its a scorceese movie, fuck its funny in a dark dark way.
nothing at all can go right for the pooor dude in it. He scored a date, and shit just goes down hill from there. It turns out to be the longest night of his life, stuck in the SOHO neighbourhood of new york city. I cant even begin to explain it. but everyone should rent it right now. Cause seriously its amazing, you will thank me. Cheech and Chong are even in it.

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Wednesday, August 18, 2004

this is spick after his mexican beer bath.


what to say , what to do, bordom has seriously set in and with it comes a serious writers block.
I registered for school today. god the school is like a jail, i have not been inside any schools wall for years, 4 to be exact. It was strange, made me a bit anxious/nervous. Just the smell of the place made me want to turn around and walk out. but i didnt. i stayed, paid the lady, got my student number, and was like, "am i another brick in the wall?" she didnt find it as funny as i did.


HERE IS A FUNNY EMAIL I GOT TODAY.


On Thu, 19 Aug 2004 01:32:38 +0400, MR LUKY MUKANABE JR wrote:
>
>
> DEAR,
> My name is Mr luky Mukanabe Jr. I am the eldest son of Late
> MR John Mukanabe
> of ZIMBABWE. This might be a surprise to you on how I got
> your contact address.
> It was from the ZIMBABWE chamber of commerce.
> Consequent upon the current war against farmers in Zimbabwe
> by the supporters of President Mugabe, to claim all the white owned farms to his party members and his followers, he ordered all white farmers to surrender their farm lands to his party members and his supporters.My dad was one of the richest and well known farmers in Zimbabwe, and due to the fact that he did not support such an obnoxious and retrogressive policy of MUGABE his farm was invaded by MUGABES thugs and everything in the farm,including my dad were
> destroyed. He died in the process and all the valuables in
> the farm were looted and those they couldn?t loot, they destroyed.
> However, before his death, he had deposited with a security firm,the sum of $24m USD {twenty four million United States dollars} for safe keeping due to the heat that was turned on the opposition by MUGABE. It therefore became imperative that we had to move to South-africa, where he had deposited the money with a security company, which he declared as valuables and family treasures.
> I am therefore constrained to make this contact in order to
> seek your help in moving this fund out from the security firm. My status as an asylum seeker does not permit me to operate any account in South-africa.
> My family would be willing to offer you fifteen percent
> (15%) of the total sum for your assistance; five percent (5%) will be mapped out for all contingent expenses that may be incurred in the course of thetransaction, while Eighty
> percent (80%)will be for me and my family,which we may hope
> to reinvest in your country. Only if you would personally assure me
> that you would not sit on this money when transfered into your designated account overseas.
> We would be glad to hearing from you as soon as you receive
> this message showing your interest to offer your assistance, as time is
> not on our side.
>
> Thanks and God bless you.
> Best Regards,
> Mr luky Mukanabe Jr


gsusking response:

Do you think i am stupid dumb wad, you guys are fucking lame ass scam artists, at least you could think of a better more original scam. you have a lack of brains.
cant pull the wool over this guys eyes. eat my balls, and enjoy them.
angel


click me, click me, click me goddamnit!

killed softly at 8/18/2004 05:45:00 PM

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Everything in my life is so fucking bitter sweet as of late.
drama seems to be comming at me from every angle possible.
im starting to feel pain in places that i didnt even know exist.
The nightmares are getting worse and worse. I wake up in the most foul moods ever.
Everynight for the past 2 weeks i have been plauged by them, they are different everynight, different people. different situations.
I try to ignore them, and i try to control them while i am sleeping, but i cant do it. I just wake up and smoke like 10 cigs b4 i can even open my eyes.
I wish i knew what was etched on my soul, engraved in my mind, that would give me constant nightmares.

killed softly at 8/18/2004 10:18:00 AM

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killed softly at 8/18/2004 02:31:00 AM

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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

my reflection in 2 broken mirors.
gsusking

killed softly at 8/17/2004 03:11:00 PM

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my reflection in one broken mirror
gsusking

killed softly at 8/17/2004 03:11:00 PM

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im glad to see my friends in vancover, have been keeping busy, this picture features ratty richard and em. i dont know who the sketchy dude in the stairwell is? These people helped me have the time of my life, every single night i was there. fucking right you guys rock my world.



Picture by: Kristi. with a k.

killed softly at 8/17/2004 03:01:00 PM

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This is susan, i have asked her out i think 1000001 times, but she always shoots me down, she used to be some french model or something when she was younger.. susan i love you!
gsusking

killed softly at 8/17/2004 12:10:00 PM

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u know when you google masterbation whos there



so tonite was a bit strange. but, it was good. actually really good. first time i have smiled for real in a long time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

killed softly at 8/17/2004 02:38:00 AM

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Monday, August 16, 2004

that is me, and me will be at sharkeys tonite, enjoying the cheep beer. everyone IM me. KINGHOTC. peace,
gsusking

killed softly at 8/16/2004 08:43:00 PM

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this is sally, she is cool, shes a bit immature, but wait a few months, and she will be a fully mature mamma
gsusking

killed softly at 8/16/2004 08:21:00 PM

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Tales for an excelerated culture.



Today i was to start working at the Old elements night club down town. My friend is filming a movie there, and he wanted me to come and take behind the scene pictures. of cast and crew, and set up shit like that. but i blew it. woke up this morn at 7 am, to find out i had to babysit all day. My friend calles me to go, and i have to decline, there is always tomorow. i hope that he dont think i totally stiffed out on pourpose.
GODDAMNIT.

killed softly at 8/16/2004 11:59:00 AM

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Sunday, August 15, 2004

Me and my crazy, jock/fratboy friends, play this game called 'beer on crotch', it basically consits of spilling your beer on someones crotch. it has become quite the big thing, a lil bird even told me that donald trump plays it, but he is high class, he plays "scotch on crotch"

killed softly at 8/15/2004 02:47:00 PM

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These people are fucked up.
There was a sign outside of their 'church'. It read: Come in for free personality test.

I thought maybe i should go in and make fun of them.
im sure their test always ends with "you have the perfect personality for scientolgy"
give us your 56.50 and you are on your way to eternal happyness.

A girl asked me if i went to church last night. i said i goto churches, but not for mass or ne thing like that. I goto them when i feel really shitty, i light a candle for my dead grandparents, reflect on lost youth and then leave.

killed softly at 8/15/2004 01:50:00 PM

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that's Liam and I. Every party we goto, we take a 'back2back' picture, kinda a gay tradition. We are the decade.
Last night was full of beer fights and cake fights.





The dish soap all over the kitchen floor made it fun to walk in there. Everyone fell at least once.



the dog was wasted, he needed to take a lil time out... It was fiending for beer, actually going to the trouble of knocking over a glass and licking up the beer. Sammy you crazy pup.



I thought that this girl, was that girl, and I called someone I don't even know a jackass. Guess I was wasted. You tell me do they look similar?

The end of the night was the best, Leigh and I waited for my cabdriver/brother-from-another-mother. Then we were like, FT, we are so going to subway. Went and grabbed some grub, and went home. Perfect end to a perfect night.

killed softly at 8/15/2004 11:33:00 AM

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Saturday, August 14, 2004

the return of liam is tonite, i cant wait, its going to be a intense party, meatbags bday, snyders bday. Liam being home. this is going to be a shit show.
3 kegs.
2 legs.
see you at the beach.

killed softly at 8/14/2004 07:22:00 PM

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this is caddy cad, he did a good job last night.
gsusking

killed softly at 8/14/2004 06:05:00 PM

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EVERYONE GO AND READ THIS PLEASE

killed softly at 8/14/2004 04:30:00 PM

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i can hear the ice cream truck music, but its like blocks and blocks away.
isnt that false advertising?

killed softly at 8/14/2004 03:52:00 PM

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OPEN YOUR EYES, LIVE A LITTLE, carla stiffed me last night, who does that?

killed softly at 8/14/2004 11:59:00 AM

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I can't pick up at raves if I am sober. I don't know how to treat crack
heads unless I am high.
The music in the orange room is blowing my mind.. Fuck I love jungle.
It turns out the rave whore works pr for gsus
I was like wtf lets get married. Then I remember that she only fucked
ugly easy dj's
Her loss I guess.
tonytheallnightpony
gsusking

killed softly at 8/14/2004 11:55:00 AM

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

"I am a pathalogical liar, and can not be trusted. So all of this can be as fake as it is real."
GSUSKING

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