This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

Monday, October 11, 2004

I am not allowed to smoke in my house. But sometimes when I am lazy/cold I smoke in my basement. A few weeks ago I didn't leave my house for 3 days. I smoked in the basement, and (p)laid on my couch.
A year ago today, I was seriously messed up, I don't have a medical term for what exactly was wrong with me, but if I had to choose what it was called it would be: TooMuchOakLamePeople-FarTooMuchCoke-itis.
I moved away from my family and my friends. I left all things I loved behind, Cable TV, internet, and phone. I had none of these things. I lived on the crappy side of town. I though moving away I could escape the tight grasp the drugs had on me. I was wrong. Depression set in quite fast while I was there. Everything in the city was so grey and dead. Like a ghost town, I lived behind the Salvation Army. I would have to chase crackheads outta my back yard on a regular basis. My bathtub, was also my kitchen sink. Things got interesting when I had to take a shower. I could kill 2 birds with one stone, shower and do the dishes at the same time.
Sometimes I want too cover myself in paper mache and just sit to dry on a park bench.
I would sprinkle bread crumbs on the still wet Mache, so that birds would land on me and eat. I could be a human sculpture, for everyone to enjoy. except people i hate. they cant come.

killed softly at 10/11/2004 01:43:00 PM

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