This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

Gsusking-At-gmail.com

angeloisking-At-hotmail.com

Wednesday, October 13, 2004


this is me when i was stupid, but happy.

I have not done anything interesting this week what-so-ever.
I have not taken any pictures, gone to any clubs or concerts.
I feel stupid and used some days.
I have a great book idea, but I am a shitty writer. I wish I could write it myself.
But it is going to be one of these type of books. "The Life of Angelo as told by:........."
I really miss the person I used to be, but you cant live in the past. You have to look towards the future, as to who I am becoming, not to who I once was.
My facial hair is itching me like a bitch, I have not washed my hair in like 4 days, it think it is starting to clean itself.
I still haven't scored tickets for PJ Harvey, but I will go and see that concert.
I am so not mentally prepared for tonight's class. I want to go out somewhere fun this evening.
I want an old friend to call me outta the blue and be all excited to see me and to hang out with me.
It seems as of late. No one really cares.
I care for all my friends. I am the type of person who would step over his own mother, to help a friend in need.
But when I am in need, I don't have anyone. I guess no one realizes that I am struggling like no other this week.
I think I have been known as a tough guy for so long. People think nothing can phase me.
I have seen a lot in my time: people shot, people stabbed. Had many a gun in my mouth, and knife to my throat. None of this ever bothered me. That was the life I led.
I seem to get depressed over the smallest things, I get depressed to the point of just wanting to hide, where no one will know where I am.
Somewhere warm preferably.
Today is one of those days where I want to smoke cigarette after cigarette, lighting each new smoke, with the glowing ember of the last.
I want to wear a disguise tonite, and walk around to see what it is like living as not me, even if it is just for 5 minutes.
I cant even walk down the street, without being recognized and stopped to talk too.
Sometimes it gets annoying living in a small town where EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE knows you, or knows of you and what you are all about.
My neighbor's hate me.
I would hate me too.
I think I do hate me. Is that possible?
god i want a drink.


I wanna live like common people.

killed softly at 10/13/2004 10:54:00 AM
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