This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
i am not at the best of it right now. though i am in Montreal, in the one city i truly love, i just cant shake the shitty feeling. The none stop downpour today isn't helping me much either.
<img src="http://www.blackmailmag.com/images/MUSICA/Dizzee-Rascal.jpg">
Thought i am going to see dizzee rascal tonight with some friends i haven't see in a while. Namely C-Bear(picture soon to follow). Most of my friends have finished exams, and are ready to steadily diminish braincells, with my camera as a witness.
I didn't bring software for my stupid camera, so that basically means i will never use the pics i took. seeing it will be a week from now until i get home.
i get bored with my pictures(as do most of you) fairly quickly. So i always only like the last picture i took. Once i take a new picture i only like that one. I am some sort of <i>"picture Nazi"</i> or something.
<img src="http://www.math.utah.edu/~alfeld/Random/fig2.gif">
its 7:41 pm here in Montreal, its wet, and cold but the party will go on.
The thing with Montreal(Quebec) is that they serve drinks here until 3 am. Which in canada is very rare. There is something about that extra hour that you have at the bar that makes the party just carry on until 7am.
<img src="http://penguinppc.org/~olaf/blond.jpg">
The rapture that good music brings is amazing. It really doesn't even have to be good music. it just has to be music you like. Everyone else in the room could hate it, and hate you in turn for making them listen to it, but its just something that it does to you.
killed softly at 4/27/2005 07:55:00 PM
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Monday, April 25, 2005
so chances are about 50/50, that I will be moving to where there is no internet, or TV or anything that will entertain me. I am throwing off the shackles of the city life, to trade it all in for the simple life. Something that I have always dreamed of, something that wasn't possible until now. I feel free.
This week I am headed to Montreal, to see a concert/performance that I have been waiting months to see. Also it was someone's birthday a week ago. So I will have to go and share in the celebrations. Maybe I will pull a road trip to the states, or Quebec city.
Nothing is written in stone.
killed softly at 4/25/2005 08:27:00 AM
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Friday, April 22, 2005
I am awake extra early this morning. As it seems, my lil bro and sis have the day off school. On these days off school, they like nothing more then to wake me up early and make me watch TV with them. I remember when I had days off school. I would sleep in, and enjoy the beautiful day while laying in bed. Some people call me grumpy. I wouldn't say I am grumpy, jaded... Maybe. I feel like an old man. I worry so fucking much that it is going to drive me insane. I worry about everything. From the cash in my pocket, to the old lady crossing the street during rush hour. Nothing can escape my mind, and the way it worries. I think its cause I day dream too much. Ill be walking down the street minding my own business, ill see something, anything really, and start to day-dream about it. For instance: if I see someone walking their dog, I day dream that the dog gets off its lease and starts attacking people. Though most of my day dreams are sadistic, I don't consider them day-mares.
So its Friday. It really doesn't feel like a Friday. Though I know it is Friday, cause the garbage truck just tore past my house, before I had a chance to put my trash out. Damn blog. Now because of this post, I will have a few extra bags of garbage in and around my house.
In the picture above there is a dog treat mixed into a plate of cookies, surprisingly this is not my doing. It was done by Wendy (Masta's mom's friend). She was quite funny, with her reserve cigs in bags. O yeah, I did some hunting today, and found Masta's moms blog. I am contemplating linking it. But I prolly wont. I don't want her to find mine.
killed softly at 4/22/2005 08:24:00 AM
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Wednesday, April 20, 2005
So I helped(aka. laid on the floor, while timah and Steve helped.) masta move out of his old house here in my town, to his new house really far up north. Well not really far. But it is pretty lame. I would live there though....If I was masta. Ha.
but anyway that is besides the point.
The point is that, we crammed 4 of us in a U-Haul cab for a nice 2 hour ride north. Some of you are saying "meh 2 hours. Suck it up". Yesterday was a stinking hot day, in the high 20's(that's hot for this time of year.)Most defiantly the hottest day of the year(though the last 3.5 months have been winter and filled with snow/bullshit).
SO we all stunk and were seriously grumpy. All almost killing each other, sweating, yelling, and feeling like shit. We cranked the tunes and just kept rolling.
It seems to be a nice place, much nicer then the places next door, and across the street. I saw some creepy local kid, riding his creepy local bike. It freaked the shit outta me, and I was warped for the rest of the night.
I will go and visit masta often this summer, seeing as there are lakes, and streams, and nature. Which I hear is nice in that time of year.
killed softly at 4/20/2005 02:56:00 PM
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Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Im going to use pictures from Face of Fashion. It was a great fundraiser where i had an amazing time, live music, models, fashion and give-aways. My friend Greg invited me, his sister and J Mawls joined. I used lauren's camera because for some strange reason i didnt bring my own.
As of right now, i have to help my best friend Masta move. He has lived around the corner from me for a while. It is going to be strange spending this summer without him. He is a drunk loser asshole, and i love it. Geez i am getting all choked up here. MASTA NO.
killed softly at 4/19/2005 09:40:00 AM
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Monday, April 18, 2005
On Saturday it was my bright idea to check out J Majic, and SUV at systems soundbar
(that would be me, pictured behind the girl on the right, and my boy Austin pictured behind the girl on the left). We arrived a bit early, and it seemed like it was going to be dead all night. Then SUV started laying down some serious sounds that made the place jump. By 1:30 am the place was so rammed it was hard to dance. Right when I was getting into the groove of things, my friends decided it was time to leave. The DJ I came to see took the stage as I walked out the door. I am still cursing myself for not staying alone to watch his set.
Sometimes I feel like soldier, like my brain is almost programmed to do things. I wake up. Shit, shower, shave then my brain kicks in. I run around all day, doing nothing and something all at the same time. I do so much and so little happens, that I have a really hard time remembering what I did at all during the day. Its all most like my body is carjacked, and I am in the backseat along for the ride. Like I am watching a made for TV movie about me. I bet you don't know too many people that take the backseat in their own lives.
killed softly at 4/18/2005 09:44:00 AM
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Saturday, April 16, 2005
When i wake up in the morning, i am more emotional then a girl that has had her period for 6 months. This morning for example, i woke up opened my eyes, and on the TV screen was footage of Terry Fox. They showed him starting his run, and interviews with him as he ran. They then cut to interviews with his parents and his brother. The water works just started flowing. I guess i am more sensitive then i let on. But only in the mornings. By mid-afternoon i am rougher then sand paper. Its like i slip into a suit of armour after my morning shower. Armour used to protect me from the the onslaught of stupid annoying people i have to deal with every day. I am not talking about my friends here, just randoms i bump into on my random adventures.
killed softly at 4/16/2005 11:14:00 AM
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Thursday, April 14, 2005
So I have decided out of complete and utter lack of material, that today has been deemed:Shameless blog promotion day
Wherein I will link a bunch of blogs that I find overly funny, interesting, or stupid. If you made this list feel free to be: flattered, happy or insulted.
Womenseekingman
first we will start with women seeking man. I came across this blog last night, I almost died. It is very inventive, and has a sick sense of humor fueling its posts. Keep it up whoever you are.
Erin Judge
This girl is full of funny. Kinda like a jerry Seinfeld 'but not quite as Jewish' funny. Go read for yourself. I am getting to lazy to type out a huge description.
blogs are stupid
this guy has seriously has something against blogs/bloggers.
I had to quote him. His webpage is also fairly entertaining.
I won't lie. I dislike web logs of any kind. The Xangas, the FreeOpenDiaries, the Livejournals, the hilariously-titled Deadjournals. All of them can fuck a volcano with a sandpaper condom. I don't hate the people who use them. A diary is a great way to record all the details of your life, but unless you're a little girl hiding from Nazis, you probably won't write anything that'll win you a Pulitzer. In fact, I'm pretty sure my entire blog won't be funny. Take, for example, that recent Anne Frank joke. That was horrible. And The Diary of Anne Frank didn't even win a Pulitzer. The play based on it did, but come on, who wants to stretch a joke that far to get a laugh? Certainly not me.
That is all for now kiddies, off you go to read and enjoy.
killed softly at 4/14/2005 10:43:00 AM
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005
I have decided that this summer, I am not going to be a lazy, lay-about, bum. I am going to do something fun, something....sporty maybe. I would really like to try wake skating. Seeing as my friends run Muskoka Militia I think I will find myself busy this summer taking pictures, partying, and handing out free shit. I hope I can convince them to let me get on the water, and break my legs.
I had a strange dream last night, it made me ponder something. Bloggers fall into 2 categories: 1) Writers, 2) Photographers. Truthfully, I am neither. I take a lot of pictures, but would never call my self a photographer. Until I get something published at least. I think I am going to go back to school at Humber or something, cause they have an amazing digital photography program.
It seems to hit me at the same time every year, I am broken right now. So broken that even the most skilled human repair shop couldn't fix me. I need some R and R, maybe a vacation, sunny Costa Rica, or breath taking Europe and Asia. I am so torn. Its like I don't want to leave my town, cause I don't want to miss any of the crazy things that my friends do during summer. I missed basically all of last summer, the parties, concerts.... Orgies. My friends are like that game: 'barrel of monkeys'. You never know what will happen when you break them out for a party. Especially masta. You all remember masta. He was basically carrying this blog, with the stories of his antics.
I really have to cut my toe nails, you know it is about that time, when they start cutting through your socks.
killed softly at 4/13/2005 10:18:00 AM
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005
In your underclothes
You went out for a smoke
I call you in
Just before the storm begins
Your last breath of smoke
You let out in the room
It makes a cloud
Like the greyist
Perfect plume
Smoke baby, smoke baby
More alcohol baby
Cocaine in Montreal
And back out on a plane baby
An early flight will leave
And on it will be me
I'll be half asleep
And you'll get up at three
Casual as a light
Flickers before it's night
Sadness comes
And the daylight turns and runs
As the sun is setting you'll be betting
I'll be getting through
I'll find a payphone baby
And take a minute to talk to you
And I have never felt
Quite this close to hell
All this rock and roll baby
Only time will tell
But we're young now, having fun now
On the town now, get around now
It's fine for now
But someday we'll settle down
But not now
Smoke baby
Who'll give you time to cry?
And time to find yourself?
Smoke baby-Hawksley Workman
killed softly at 4/12/2005 10:47:00 AM
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Thursday, April 07, 2005
yesterday I spend the afternoon in Toronto. I went there to find new shoes. I spend most of the day looking at clothing and women that my wallet couldn't afford. It was a beautiful day to walk along queen and harass street vendors.
I bought the hottest pair of Lacoste shoes and some art from this street artist dude who had all these twisted inked pictures. A must have for a young attractive youth as myself. I had dinner at canyon creek and really enjoyed the meal.
When I returned home, my friends Sean and Bryan wanted to go and visit my friends mother. It was nice to see her because her son has been in Aus, for the past few months. I could tell she missed us. From there we continued to Prime Slime, the local sports pub. We travelled miles to come and see my friend Ash, and her father. This was the beginning of the most entertaining night of my life.
We get to the pub, embrace Ash, and her father and got down to some serious drinking(except me). Ashleys father(who will be referred to as 'Henny' from now on)is the man. Bryan and Sean had not met him before, and were thoroughly impressed.
Henny is not a man of few words, he can talk with the best of them. He kept us entertained all night with stories from the past about "throat yogurt" and about going to Jamaica and smoking joints with the local dreads. He is a man who I think has done just about everything, he even made a new friend. Miguel, the drunken el Salvadoran.
As most nights do, this one came to an end at last call, we removed ourselves from the pub, and decided to go back to Henny's house to keep the party rolling.
We went back to his house, where his wife and son are sleeping, to get more booze and to play with his new puppy.
To make a long story short, the dog escaped, and the wife woke up. Henny didn't seem to really care, seeing as he leaves for the masters tomorrow. What a lucky fucker.
That was the last time I will probably party with Ash and Henny for a while. Seeing as Ash moves to England on Monday. I will miss her a lot. So if any of you out there reading this are British, and in England. Hook my friend Ash up if you ever see her.
killed softly at 4/07/2005 10:31:00 AM
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Wednesday, April 06, 2005
So the word on the street is that: This Clive Owen guy, looks like me. I kinda choose a shitty pic of me to show the similarities but, they are there, somewhere. Don't tell me that I am insane. My face is a bit longer then his, and he is way old and wrinkled.
He also has that UK sexiness about him that I don't have, being that I am Italian. So maybe I have that Italian sexiness about me?? Who really knows, as you can tell, I was really stuck on a subject for today's post.
I love finding new songs that I like. Its like finding a $20 bill in your pocket that you forgot about.
Something else has been brought to my attention while I was typing this, it seems that people are clubbing seals again. Something that I totally thought was a thing of the past, but apparently isn't. Everyone go and sign this petition to save the baby seals.
PROTECT THE BABY SEALS
killed softly at 4/06/2005 10:18:00 AM
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Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Debt collectors can be so rude sometimes. I love when they call for me:
"hello is Angelo in?"
"nope he is not" I reply
"well could you have him call me at this number ect. ect."
"I will forward this message to him, and what is this concerning?"
"this is a private matter, I cannot share the reason why I am calling"
"ok, well then, I am going to make this a private message, unless you tell me why you are calling, as soon as you hang up I will throw away this piece of paper your message is on. That brings you right back to square one, doesn't it Susan?"
"sir, if you would please just pass my number along to him"
"naw, I don't think I can do that. Here is the thing Susan, I ran out of toilet paper this morning, and I feel a serious case of the shits coming on. It seems that your number is written on the only piece of paper I have....I have to run I have a turtle head poking out"
*CLICK*
That is usually how I handle those stupid collection agencies.
In case you are wondering, they are calling to collect money from drinking tickets I received from stupid cops who had nothing better to do back in the summer of '98. They think I am actually going to pay them. That is laughable. I was under 18 at the time, so in no way does me not paying them affect my credit in any way.
stupid fuckers.
killed softly at 4/05/2005 11:13:00 AM
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Monday, April 04, 2005
so i did iti bought a new camera.
its nice
it definatly does the trick.
killed softly at 4/04/2005 04:21:00 PM
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today is the day.
im gonna do it.
i gonna buy a new digital camera
killed softly at 4/04/2005 12:43:00 PM
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Sunday, April 03, 2005
If bad things happen in threes, I am waiting for the axe to fall and chop off my head.
Last week my eye-lid had a lump on it the size of a golf ball. Now I have a broken hand, which the doctors say is not broken. I believe the doctors but the thing is my hand looks like I have a catchers mitt on it.
Originally I wasn't going to tell the story of how I broke, or should I say swelled my hand. But here it is any way:
On Friday afternoon, my friend Tyler came to Masta's house with his mini-crotch rocket.
125 cc, of raw 4 stroke power. I told myself "self, don't ride that thing, you are far to unbalanced and unco-ordinated to ride such a toy." But I still got on it after watching Stufenbop ride it around for a bit. I hop on the idling death machine. Put my feet on the pegs, and hit the throttle. For those of you who don't know, these bikes have no gears, so u just hit the throttle and go. I did not know this when I first hopped on. "ill just take it slow in first gear till I get the hang of it" I told myself.
I floored it, and the bike just took off. I made it about 10 feet, then fell cause of a low speed wobble. The bike was destroyed, as was the left side of my body. I will never ride a mini bike again.
Now I am just waiting for the 3rd thing to go wrong, so I can start my life over again.
killed softly at 4/03/2005 10:25:00 AM
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![http://www.blackmailmag.com/images/MUSICA/Dizzee-Rascal.jpg"](http://www.blackmailmag.com/images/MUSICA/Dizzee-Rascal.jpg"){kind=link}
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