This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

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Wednesday, July 06, 2005



Today I feel like a big bag of depression with a Mellon collie side salad. I am not sure why though, usually in summer I am pretty cool, calm and collected. Wait a minute, no im not. Im usually some nutbar you would see walking down the street talking to himself. But today I feel very introverted. The sun shining through my blinds is like a neglected invitation to go outside and enjoy the heat. But today I don't even want to leave my bed. I don't really know how I am writing a post right now. I guess I believe that this blog has some super power for making me feel less depressed. When ever I write on here I cant help but think about stupid things. I think to last year. To the date. I think I was totally loopy and insane. I couldn't even handle walking down the street with out a total deconstructing mental/emotional breakdown. I wonder what was wrong with me. I wonder what IS wrong with me.



I have never felt the need to seek help with the problems that seem to arise in my brain every day. Its nothing too serious. Just thoughts, that randomly pop into my head, that seem to make me think forever, its like a spider web. I think of one thing, and then it links off to 10000's of other things. Almost like a person reading a blog. My ideas span such a large web, that I am scared that it will never end, and I will eventually drive myself to hospitalization if I just don't stop thinking.

Think about it.
I dare you.

killed softly at 7/06/2005 11:20:00 AM
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