This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

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Wednesday, May 31, 2006



This is the best thing I have ever read. I have a big crush on this text.

written by: Anon.


Boredom

I am that bored with my life? So bored that I must resort to sporadic moments of artificial stimulation? No, I can’t accept that. There is much more to life – there must be. There is. I have just yet to embrace it. To find the motivation to seek it. That’s it. Motivation. Drive. Those are worlds which do not find themselves in my encyclopedia of thought. I wish they did. They do on occasion, but so fleeting that they are hard to grasp onto. Why so? I don’t know. Perhaps a lack of change for which I only have to blame but myself. This thought is so sad, that because of its sadness I can no longer humor it. Circles, circles, I seem to be moving in reverse – I’m back where I started without even having moved an inch. Ridiculous. In turn, my existence being ridiculous. Okay, maybe that is too harsh.

What will it take to make me move? There are so many causes, I don’t know what to choose. Lack of decision, indecision, results in de-motivation – so I have proved. Ambition, so great in theory, lacking in action. How is one to transition, transcribe one state to the other? Give me a phrase or a smack, jolt or pill. What will it take? Is this a condition? Conditions, conditions, it’s all a condition, the human condition I wish I could break. Lack of intelligence? Perhaps that’s what it would taha.

Ahh, the bliss of ignorance, my theory is this: it takes work to maintain it, yet happiness is this. For, those who see and are aware of limitation, suffer a conundrum stipulated by human sensation. How to break it, resolve it, find purpose in this? That is my mission, a way must exist.

I see it, I do. It’s in selfless action. That is my cause I must put into practice. I see this, I do, and I will. To help the suffering of the world is my vision fulfilled. Small movements, small action I must focus on, for that’s how I might find my way out of this stagnant conundrum. I will tomorrow, I swear, I will. My legacy will be the girl who did nothing but speak of what she could do, until the last minute when she exceptionally came through.

killed softly at 5/31/2006 08:36:00 AM
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Monday, May 29, 2006



I guess you could say my feelings were hurt.
I don't really understand why I let myself be so..... Vulnerable??.
Things are getting harder more then they are getting easier.
it sucks doesn't it?
life in general.
for the birds.
I let a pigeon land on me today, and fed it from my hand.
its illegal to feed birds in Montreal parks.
I m such a rebel.

Yesterday an Arab man in front of my building asked me to call him an ambulance.
"I smoked some weed, then ate some spicy food, and now I am dizzy" he explained.
So I did what any good Samaritan would do, and I called him an ambulance, though I could see the hospital from where we were standing. I had a good laugh.
spicy food. Are you kidding me?

killed softly at 5/29/2006 06:02:00 PM
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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Today is international day people don't answer their phones.
I woke up at 5 am for work today, as I have done every day for the last 2 weeks.
except for yesterday. When I woke up at 9. Beside the point
its now 915 pm in Montreal
I have deduced from my findings that.
WORKING IS FOR CHUMPS.

killed softly at 5/18/2006 09:12:00 PM
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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

so i missed coachella.
I moved that weekend.
Montreal is full of sketchy people.
It makes some feel weird.
not me, i felt weird before i got here.
ive been taking pictures like crazy.
heres a few.















Montreal does inspire me more then anything.. i cant seem to keep my camera out of my hand.
I LOVE IT

killed softly at 5/02/2006 09:57:00 AM
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