This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

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Wednesday, May 31, 2006



This is the best thing I have ever read. I have a big crush on this text.

written by: Anon.


Boredom

I am that bored with my life? So bored that I must resort to sporadic moments of artificial stimulation? No, I can’t accept that. There is much more to life – there must be. There is. I have just yet to embrace it. To find the motivation to seek it. That’s it. Motivation. Drive. Those are worlds which do not find themselves in my encyclopedia of thought. I wish they did. They do on occasion, but so fleeting that they are hard to grasp onto. Why so? I don’t know. Perhaps a lack of change for which I only have to blame but myself. This thought is so sad, that because of its sadness I can no longer humor it. Circles, circles, I seem to be moving in reverse – I’m back where I started without even having moved an inch. Ridiculous. In turn, my existence being ridiculous. Okay, maybe that is too harsh.

What will it take to make me move? There are so many causes, I don’t know what to choose. Lack of decision, indecision, results in de-motivation – so I have proved. Ambition, so great in theory, lacking in action. How is one to transition, transcribe one state to the other? Give me a phrase or a smack, jolt or pill. What will it take? Is this a condition? Conditions, conditions, it’s all a condition, the human condition I wish I could break. Lack of intelligence? Perhaps that’s what it would taha.

Ahh, the bliss of ignorance, my theory is this: it takes work to maintain it, yet happiness is this. For, those who see and are aware of limitation, suffer a conundrum stipulated by human sensation. How to break it, resolve it, find purpose in this? That is my mission, a way must exist.

I see it, I do. It’s in selfless action. That is my cause I must put into practice. I see this, I do, and I will. To help the suffering of the world is my vision fulfilled. Small movements, small action I must focus on, for that’s how I might find my way out of this stagnant conundrum. I will tomorrow, I swear, I will. My legacy will be the girl who did nothing but speak of what she could do, until the last minute when she exceptionally came through.

killed softly at 5/31/2006 08:36:00 AM
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