This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

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Sunday, July 23, 2006

whenever you want me, whenever you need me


This week was a whirl wind of emotions, that all climaxed on Friday night.
I was drinking.
better yet, I was drunk.
I embarrassed myself.
Better yet, I embarrassed everyone.

Im listening to some amazing old john coltrane recording. Softly as in a morning sunrise. He was so a head of his time its amazing. I feel like I could have heard this last night at Upstairs. Either over the speakers, or played by some jazz/coltrane aficionado.
The music motivates me.

I cant wait to have a keyboard in the apartment. It will truly make this place feel like home. I have no drive. I can feel the depression setting in.
I want to go wakeskate. I want to hit the water with such furry. Hitting water at 20/mph is like hitting a piece of smooth concrete, rather then the welcoming liquid it usually is.
Its strange how speed can change the dynamic of something that is normally soft, and welcoming, into something so cold and hard you don't even recognize it when it smacks you in the face.

killed softly at 7/23/2006 10:27:00 AM
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